Happy 2012 to DailyOxford readers! I much prefer years that are even numbers, don’t you? There’s no rhyme or reason behind this next statement but…I find that more negative stuff happens during years with uneven numbers. But if the Mayans are right, 2012 isn’t going to be so great either. Particularly, December 21, 2012, for that’s the date the Mayan Long Count calendar comes to an end and some predict catastrophic events will occur.

Actually, there are a ton of exciting predictions for 2012. Aliens could visit us (mind you, I reckon they’ve been here for years and haunt most organisations, in the guise of senior management). We could get whacked by the mysterious planet, Nibiru (aka Planet X). The geomagnetic reversal of the poles that is said to happen in 2012 could mean Australia goes under water and New Zealand is raised up. That’ll piss off the Aussies for sure.

So if we’re going up in smoke, I hope I get to spend another couple of months in Rome in early 2012. Meanwhile, my mares, Rosie and Karma, could care less. Nothing fazes them. They think all this human mumbo jumbo and predictions business is pseudoscience. And in the face of aliens landing, Planet X smashing into us, poles reversing or a 6.0 magnitude quake like we had on December 23 – they say Don’t Worry, Let’s Groom. Because there’s nothing better than a good groom between two best friends.