Courtesy of Irene (a regular DailyOxford reader), I have been inspired to refer to Princess Zsa Zsa as the Pointinator. Move over Arnold Schwarzenegger because this little English Pointer is more lethal than any Terminator role you might have played. With her keen sense of smell and instinct for hunting, she will zero in on any poor unsuspecting target and rip it to shreds in no time.

No, I’m not talking about real birds or rabbits here. I’m talking about her dog toys. I am forever buying her fluffy toys as she loves to thrash them around or play tug of war with Zeph. Thankfully, our breeder sells used fluffy toys for NZ$2.00 each, so the fact she destroys fluffy objects isn’t breaking the bank, yet.

She starts off very happily playing with her new toy. She paws it. She holds it gently in in her mouth. She shows Zeph her prized new possession and sometimes allows him to play with it too. Then, within minutes, she turns feral. She thrashes the toy around, banging it against doors and walls (this is great for the new paintwork around the house!). She runs outside and thrashes it on the grass. Often the poor toy finds itself hurled up towards the sky – with opened jaws awaiting its return to Earth.

Then the degutting process begins. The Pointinator bites into the fluffy toy until she finds a weak spot. Then she rips the toy open and has great pleasure in leaving the innards lying all over the house or yard.

Once the fluffy toy has been degutted and is a mere shell, the Pointinator will either fall asleep on its remains or abandon it somewhere on the property. I found one former play companion in the foal paddock the other day – evidencing the Pointinator’s attempts to enlist Saffy, the foal, into this degutting business.

I’m wondering if Zsa Zsa needs a dog psychiatrist’s couch so she can pour out her inner most secrets. Zeph, on the other hand, could show you his collection of intact dog toys, all neatly placed in his sleeping crate. He has never destroyed a fluffy toy and seems to share my puzzlement over Zsa Zsa’s destructive ways.

The Pointinator’s work is a tough job. All the thrashing and bashing quickly tires her out, so a puppy sleep is required to recharge the batteries. Zsa Zsa only has one toy left – a lime green star-shaped toy that is currently lying on the front patio no doubt nervously awaiting its fate.

Now that Arnie’s no longer playing The Terminator, someone has to fill the role. It’s tough work I tell you!

You looking at me? Just remember: I’m the Pointinator!

Don’t I look innocent? But here I am lying on the remains of my latest fluffy toy.