Remember Fritz? And the coffee identity theft? For newcomers to the DailyOxford, Fritz is like my second mother. She’s the mum of my great Aussie mate and the grandmother of my God-niece, the gorgeous Emily. Fritz is German, hence the nickname, but her real name is Rita. She has a wonderfully bizarre sense of humour but I’m afraid she continues to steal my identity.

How? Well, every time Fritz orders a take-away coffee, for some reason she uses my name, Kim. I realise it’s an easy name. Three letters that you can’t really stuff up. But Rita is a pretty easy name too. Should I be flattered do you think?

This coffee identity theft business was first revealed last November when Emily was born. We were all talking about what the baby might be named and Fritz favoured Leila. I pointed out that my grandmother had a hand in naming me and sometimes it’s wiser to allow the parents to name the bub. This led to her confession that for years, when she goes to cafes and they ask for a name they can call out when your coffee is ready, she has used my name instead of her own first name. I was stunned, speechless but we all fell about laughing. Especially when she further confessed that she was sitting in a particular cafe with Jason, her son, and someone walked in and said hi Kim. No doubt Jason was pretty confused.

Now my mate has found evidence that Fritz is continuing with her fraudulent activities but….is at least trying to hide things a bit. She was throwing out some garbage and found an empty takeaway coffee container. And what was written on the lid? KIM.